You will
excuse me from taking any more chances on those beds.
The
railroads are good enough for me.
And my
advice to all people is, Don’t stay at home any more than
you can
help; but when you have GOT to stay at home a while,
buy a
package of those insurance tickets and sit up nights.
You
cannot be too cautious.
[One can
see now why I answered that ticket-agent in the manner
recorded
at the top of this sketch.]
The moral
of this composition is, that thoughtless people grumble
more than
is fair about railroad management in the United States.
When we
consider that every day and night of the year full fourteen
thousand
railway-trains of various kinds, freighted with life
and armed
with death, go thundering over the land, the marvel is,
NOT that
they kill three hundred human beings in a twelvemonth,
but that
they do not kill three hundred times three hundred!

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